The chalk dust that never settled, at least not for me

American Heritage Dictionary defines "relationship" as "The condition or fact of being related; connection or association." Under the same heading, relationship is also defined as, "A romantic or sexual involvement." It is this second definition that I would like to place emphasis upon.

Now before you click away from this blog in disgust, know that what is contained here isn't some sort of pornographic depiction, but rather an unfortunate outcome based on events that may or may not have happened. This may sound cryptic, but I assure you, what I am about to share with you shocked a rural Indiana town and still conjures a myriad of emotion even after more than 20 years.

During my senior year, I was involved in a few after school activities. Although I enjoyed all of the activities I participated in, the one that gave me the most satisfaction was our school's speech/forensics team. Not only was it my favorite, it was also the most difficult. Up to that point, I was terrified by the thought of public speaking. When I joined, I knew getting up in front of others was going to be my biggest challenge. Fortunately, within the first few weeks, I had become more and more confident. I credit this turn around to the students who encouraged me and my coach, Dorana Pethtel who mentored me.

Not only was I able to thrive under her guidance, many of the students she taught credit her much the same way. I can say with all honesty that had she not been my teacher and coach, I would not have achieved nearly as much. I think one of her best qualities is that she didn't establish a classroom hierarchy, instead she chose to view her classroom and speech team as more of a partnership.

In the winter of 1986, our community was rocked to learn that this same speech coach/teacher and her husband; also a school teacher, had been arrested and charged with child molesting. As you can imagine, when they were officially charged, the school board suspended them from teaching pending the outcome of this investigation. As time passed, we learned more and more about the charges that had been filed against them. . It was later learned that they were accused of molesting two students. The students claimed they had been invited over to the Pethtel's home where they had been provided with alcohol and then became involved in a sexual encounter with Dorana and her husband Steve.

The trial lasted for several days and their attorney felt confident that they would be acquitted on all charges. To every one's disbelief, they were found guilty on all charges. However, during the last couple of days of the trial, the Pethtel's attorney told us that the two students who had accused them of child molesting, admitted to the prosecutor they had made the whole thing up. He went on to say that the prosecutor blew up at them and told them that if they took this revelation to the judge, they would likely go to jail longer than the teachers they had accused.

When it was over, Dorana had been sentenced to 4 years in prison and Steve had been ordered to serve 5 years. The day of their sentencing would be the last time I would see them before they were sent off to prison. No matter how hard I've tried, I still haven't been able to get my head around this whole thing. When Dorana was taken away from us, all of us on the speech team felt as if we'd just been orphaned. Sadly, we weren't able to end our year on the high note that all of us so richly deserved. Our year-end banquet wasn't the celebration that we'd hoped for. No words of gratitude to our coach who encouraged us and taught us to push beyond our personal limitations. And no special congratulations from a coach to those who'd performed admirably. Nothing but a tear-stained letter of thanks from our teacher who was forbidden to attend.

Now, before you go get your nunchaku, I don't intend to prove whether they are guilty or not. I graciously acquiesce. I admit that I am not at all qualified to pass judgement upon them for the crimes they were accused. Sadly, neither were the legal "professionals" given the task of discovering the truth in their case.What I do intend to do is illustrate simple cause and effect.

First of all, what made Dorana such a damn good teacher and speech coach? Number one, because she truly listened. Secondly, because she spoke to the kids in their language. I'm not saying she talked like a teenager, rather she knew how to get through to her students in the language they understood. As I mentioned before, had I been coached on the speech team by any other person, I would likely have achieved much less than I did. She knew what my insecurities were and taught me to overcome them. I feel she was an extraordinarily gifted educator. I don't base that assessment on any academic credential, I base it solely on how much it allowed me to thrive.

Do I think they were capable of committing the crimes they were accused? Given the right circumstances, any one of us are "capable" of committing unthinkable crimes. We are flawed, fallible creatures.

One of the arguments the prosecutor used against them was the fact that students regularly visited the Pethtel's at their home. He suggested the Pethtel's used these invitations to their home were a vehicle for coercion. It is this line of thinking that suggests the prosecutor thought that perception is 9/10ths of the law.

I've remained in contact with quite a few of my old speech team friends and every once in awhile, the subject of their trial comes up and I'm asked if I think they did molest the two students. In my heart I don't believe they did it. In fact, none of the students I've remained friends with ever came forward admitting they had been involved in any kind of illicit behavior with the Pethtels. Many of my old speech friends have gone on to be very successful people. Among the students on the speech team during the 1986/1987 school year, there is a forensic pathologist, an engineer, a police officer and published writer, a deputy prosecuting attorney, 1 or 2 lawyers,Technical Support Consultant/Analyst 2 at the Notre Dame University academic library, and a hugely popular Florida radio personality just to name a few. In fact, Chadd Thomas; the hugely popular Florida radio personality states on his my space page that one of his heroes was Dorana Pethtel. He writes, " And my freshman Speech teacher, Doranna Pethtel, for bringing me so far out of my shell that I can never go back."

In summary, I would like to make a couple of things perfectly clear. Even though I have listed a number of examples of successful students under her direction, that is not to suggest that ANY crime should be excused based on professional success. None of us are above the law. I would also like to make clear that I am not suggesting they were guilty for the crimes they were charged. I've simply never doubted their innocence. What I am saying is that it saddens me to think of all the students since my senior year of high school whose lives could have been changed as profoundly as mine.

It is my sincerest hope that the two students who accused Dorana and Steve Pethtel of molesting them, read this post. If Dorana and Steve were wrongly accused, I can't imagine the guilt you've had to live with for more than 20 years. I encourage you today to set the record straight. I know the events of the past cannot be undone, but it's never to late to do the right thing. I'm sure Dorana and Steve have tried very hard to put the past behind them. But I believe they will never experience complete closure until you acknowledge the truth.